Sunday, August 10, 2008

My Arch Enemy and Worst Nightmare

The elusive,vile and utterly loathsome.......

Camel Cricket. *gulp*

Given his name for the shape of his humped back, and looooong, lanky legs.

Unlike the teeny little ones that hop lightly around your garden singing their little midnight songs(which usually are endlessly annoying), this cricket does not make any noise. From his size (which can be up to 1 and 1/2 inches long),you would think he would let out a healthy deep bellowing CHHIIRRRRP!

No, my friends. He is stealthy. He is fearless. When you attempt to remove him from his new habitat(your basement), he JUMPS! HIGH! LIKE 3 FEET HIGH AND I AM SO NOT JOKING! YOUR SWINGS WITH THE BROOM ARE OF NO USE! HE JUMPS WILLY NILLY IN ALL DIRECTIONS, MAKING YOU DIZZY!

To our advantage, he does not bite. He only stares at you with his buggy eyes and waves his giant, mile long antennae at you, threatening to jump at any moment, if only you turn your back for a second!

They are not easy to catch or to kill. They are extremely fast! And when they do happen to be flattened by your broom, they play dead! Do you hear me? They fake it! When you think you have beat him and go to check on his poor little lifeless body saying"what have I done?" he springs into action and tries to jump in your hair! You run away screaming in terror!

When the broom is handed off to the stronger, MUCH braver husband to "finish the job", the bad bug is finally crushed into oblivion ( as well as into the carpet). At this point, any unwise attempt of the husband to pick up the deceased creature and "dangle" it in front of the terrified wife who is huddled in a heap on the floor crying hysterically, will be UNFORGIVEN.

When we first moved into our new house two years ago, we had many of these horrid things coming in. The hero of our household(aka: My Hunky Hubby) managed to plug up any and all possible passages and ports of entry. We saw none the second year.

This summer we have had less than a dozen. Although this week, we have had two or three in only a matter of a few days. There must be a weakness in the fortress somewhere.

These hideous creatures must be kept away at ALL costs!. They are soooooo not my friends. The only other bug I truly dislike very much are spiders. Though I might, in this instance even say, "Hey. Mister spider. I'll make you a deal. You eat the camel cricket, and I won't squash you."

But honestly, if a spider tried to eat one of these things he would choke for sure.

I hope none of you ever discover one of these in your homes. It's the stuff nightmares are made of.


Liz said...

Thanks I'm not even hungry for my breakfast! I know what you're going through...

danielle said...

OOops, sorry! :)

Jen said...

Ooohhhh. **shudder** That would give me nightmares too! Our house down there had a ton of jumping spiders - forget what they're called - but it freaked me out! So far, I've gotta say, we haven't had anything THAT creepy here! Phew -

Laurie said...

Great pictures, you really got close up to the thing. We enjoyed having you visit our group yesterday.

danielle said...

Thanks! We had a good time too. Thanks again for sharing Matthew's clothes!
And- just for the record... I didn't get up close to that cricket! I googled those pics! I have the chills again. Ick!

jeff said...

I have to add, they make a very satisfying "crunch" when you smash them.

danielle said...